J totally spoiled me with lots of new goodies from one of my all time fave stores. We then got delicious Little Ceasar's pizza (so bad but good!) and watched "P.S. I love you". What a sweet hubby for sitting through such a chick flick!
Perhaps I'm experiencing my quarter-life crisis or maybe I'm sentimental that my little baby is quickly turning into a big baby, but I found myself thinking a lot yesterday about where I'm at, who I am, and how it all stacks up against what I thought this time would be like. Here's what I came up with:
1. When it came to parenting, I always thought I would be the one teaching. Turns out, little ZuZu has taught me more in last 5 months than I could have imagined. What, you may ask? She has taught me: patience, kindness, open-mindedness, that a perfect house means nothing, that being in control is totally overrated, that mirrors are way fun, and being with your family is as good as it gets.
2. I thought I'd be something by now. Famous, or rich, or stylish, or I don't know, just something. I never realized I wouldn't care by 25. I've realized happiness and contentment aren't measured in those terms. I'm definitely not famous, babies are expensive, and I'm lucky if I brush my teeth these days. But I don't care. I'm happier than ever.
3. Every day I love J more. Seeing him as a father, changing from teenagers to adults together, has been a wonderful adventure.
4. I miss my dad. It makes me sad that he won't be here to see me come into my own or to see ZuZu grow up.
5. I'm tired of doing things for other people. Such as: getting dressed in the morning when I want to stay in my pajamas, maintaining a lawn and landscaping, saying I agree when I don't, pretending to believe things I don't. At this monumental quarter-century mark, I want to make a decision to start doing things for me. I still want to be kind and loving, of course, but I also want to be me. I like who I am and I don't think I want to waste any more of my life on people who don't.
6. I'm really really happy to be right where I am in life.
I hope each of you had a fantastic 5/5.
